18 June 2007
Waiting for the wrong decision over hospital beds
Some people believe that the Norfolk Primary Care Trust is in the process of agonising over the closure of community hospitals and community care beds in the county.
Others are pretty sure the Trust has already made up its mind, and the recent public consultation was a cynical waste of time and effort, and an unsuccessful bid to pull the wool over people’s eyes.
Whatever the truth of it, pretty much everyone who is not an accountant or a politician is sure that any closures will be wrong and totally misconceived, rather on a parallel with Dr Beeching’s axing of rail lines in the 60s – only worse.
More than 97 per cent of people polled by a patients’ watchdog organisation were against the closures. Increased home care, advocated by the Trust, is not better for most and will make life unbearable – almost impossible – for an unacceptable number of people.
Hospitals such as Aylsham are full to the brim, and every morning the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital phones in search of non-existent free beds. Cutting the number of beds will be disastrous both there and elsewhere.
At the same time we read that a doctor who introduced an innovative operating regime that cut waiting lists is leaving the NHS – and the country – because no-one was interested in his methods.
It is much easier to cut beds and close hospitals than to do things in a more effective way. One can imagine the Primary Care Trust saying: “If you carry out changes, there are going to be winners and losers, and in the end the winners have outnumbered the losers.”
In fact that was Guy McGregor, Suffolk roads and transport supremo, talking to Lowestoft shop-owners who have been refused compensation for months of disruption resulting from roadworks.
If the PCT – egged on by the Government – can do no better than echo such a self- satisfied and blinkered view, they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
Up and down approach to road safety
The Norfolk new town of Whynge, which emerged from the sea recently, has decided to reduce speed limits on all its roads to five mph.
Consultant Len “Kissme” Hardy told reporters that many councillors favoured a lower limit, but this was not considered feasible at the moment. However, if anyone died in an accident, two or three mph limits would be “inevitable”.
“This is in line with national road safety practice,” he said. “If accidents go up, speed limits go down. You don’t have to think at all.”
Meanwhile in Portsmouth, south-west of Norfolk, it has been revealed that the 20mph limits planned for all residential roads except major through routes will not be backed up by speed humps – because humps “inconvenience emergency service vehicles and aggravate people”.
Alex Bentley, a real person who is executive member for environment and transportation, added: “When given the chance, the population behaves responsibly.” Mr Hardy said last night that this was not a view the road safety industry wanted to encourage.
Volcano to crack down on chip joints
Regular readers may have been concerned at the lack of reports recently from Richard “Volcano” Meek, the intrepid Norfolk explorer. I am happy to reveal that ever since the Government engaged the services of Jamie Oliver and declared war on beef dripping, he has been operating as what he calls “a sort of undercover Lardy- Czar”.
In the same way that prohibition in the States spawned illegal drinking clubs, the clampdown on chip fat and lard-based products has apparently led to illicit rendering plants up in the Ringland Hills, just outside Norwich.
“My mission,” Mr Meek told me, “has been not only to intercept souped-up dripping runners, but also to crack down on the illegal chew-easys springing up in laybys all over the county.
“With names like Fat Dicko's, The Gutbuster Burger Bar, Betty's Big Baps and Nobby's Nosh, these jelly joints are drip-feeding saturated fat and fortified grease to those desperate souls out of their heads on hot sausage and ketchup.
“Along with my colleagues, Albert Ness and the Inedibles, I hope to report the eradication of these cheap chip joints in the very near future.”
More grease to his elbow.
Poor memory over Norwich road?
The Liberal Democrats, who I like to encourage whenever possible, are concerned about drivers “rat-running” on Rosary Road, Norwich.
Some would say that using Rosary Road to reach Thorpe Road from Riverside Road instead of taking up residence in a queue to the Foundry Bridge traffic lights and turning left – which is not only much further, but adds to congestion – was the intelligent thing to do, and not especially ratlike.
What made the situation so bad was the highways authority’s decision to ban a right turn at the Foundry Bridge traffic lights from Thorpe Road into Riverside Road, and to erect a large sign directing traffic along – you’ve guessed it – Rosary Road instead. So what was always a steady flow in one direction is now met by a similar flow in the other direction.
Let me see now, who was in charge of the city council when that happened?
Signs of a bad driver
Traders in Swaffham who are asking for better signposting for town centre car parks may be out of step with the average motorist, if we are to believe a survey carried out by the Vauxhall car company.
High up on the Vauxhall list of signs wanted by motorists came such vital ones as “urban foxes crossing” and “wi-fi hotspot”. Drivers also wanted updated “children crossing” signs showing more up-to-date clothing and – unbelievably – signs warning them to be green by switching off their engines while waiting to pick up their children from school.
I just hope no-one takes this seriously. If you are stupid enough to need a sign to tell you to turn your engine off while waiting, or too dim to recognise children in slightly outdated clothing, you shouldn’t be driving a car at all.