29 May 2006
Where our bright new country park falls apart
When Charles Clarke was removed as Home Secretary, one of his first steps was to walk around Whitlingham Country Park, on the outskirts of Norwich.
A sound decision. Whitlingham has been a favourite spot of mine since the 1960s, and recent developments there have much enhanced the natural beauty of the place by inserting a couple of Broads and a delightful circular footpath – though this hasn’t made its way on to the colourful information boards yet.
In fact if you were to drive in and leave your car on one of the modestly priced car parks while you wandered round the water’s edge, you would probably go away more than satisfied – if a little curious as to why no-one has made the effort to create a riverside path from the city to such a lovely spot.
But if you were to venture further, up the lane to the old Whitlingham riverside, you would probably be less pleased.
Whitlingham Lane has always been in a poor state of repair. But today the potholes, cracks and crevasses are so bad that only Royal Mail vans can take it at any speed – judging by the one that bounced merrily up behind me, anyway.
The edges of the lane are similarly neglected – given over to those drivers too mean to pay the small car park fee and happy to risk even more structural damage than would be incurred by staying closer to the centre of the road.
Given that a fair amount seems to have been spent on other areas of the park, why does the lane remain so awful? Does the Whitlingham Charitable Trust, which includes South Norfolk District Council, want to discourage drivers from going that far? If so, its members should ponder the possibility of potential damage to cyclists and walkers – even, perhaps, Royal Mail vans – from the uneven surface.
Or perhaps the Trust would like to improve the road but is being prevented from doing so. Could some pressure group be holding up the work in the interests of the environment, or planetary collapse? Or is some individual with a penchant for potholes standing in the way? Are resignations in order? Probably not, but a few smooth answers would not come amiss.
Knife recycling project fails to hit target
The current knife amnesty launched by the Home Office in an attempt to find out how many knives there are in Britain, how many entered illegally and how many are out on bail inspired a little-known pilot project in the Pondhenge area of North Norfolk.
A Green Consortium headed by radical cleric the Rev Nick Reppscumbastwick decided that it would “kill two birds with one stone” and combine the amnesty with a recycling project. Instead of the red bins authorised by the Home Office, the Pondhenge group used green, brown, blue, white and yellow bins. “It was quite simple,” said Mr Reppscumbastwick. “Knives with bone handles went in green bins, knives with unbiodegradable plastic handles had to be washed and placed in the brown bins, knives with any other type of handle but with blades between 14cm and 17cm long went in the blue bins, knives with saw blades went in the white bins, unless they were between 18cm and 19cm long, or longer, and butter knives went in the yellow bins for decontamination.”
He said he was not entirely happy with the response.
“People just will not enter into the spirit of knife recycling,” he said. “We found several knives placed wantonly in the wrong bins and had to fine several people who apparently couldn’t see the point.
“Even more sadly, a number of knives were thrown into nearby hedges, with catastrophic effects on local wildlife. One narrowly missed a member of the Green Consortium who happened to be passing.”
Efficiency testing by Norfolk 'wasteful'
What with the usual shortage of money over at Norfolk County Council, you might have thought they had better things to do with it than carry out “independent” two-year trials on renewable car fuels.
After all, car fuel is not a particularly Norfolk phenomenon, and efficiency testing of motor vehicles is carried out nationally by the appropriate Government department, as well as by motoring organisations.
You might have thought the county council should concentrate on local issues that it can do something about. One EDP reader, angered by news of the car fuels project, certainly thought so. He told me: “Last week I counted 12 pieces of street furniture between the Catton Woodman and White Woman Lane (north of Norwich) with failed lighting; four were street lamps. These have been out for the last ten weeks.
“The Spixworth to Aylsham road resembles the Leipzig to Colditz road in 1990, with little done since the war, which apparently, according to my late father, we won.
“How many hot air balloons full of gas would it take to melt the 150 double-decker busloads of tarmac needed to make this surface safe and transport-efficient?”
Difficult question. Perhaps two years of solid, independent testing would sort it out. Or maybe not.
Fear that chess players may not fit in
There has been come concern in Great Yarmouth circles at the decision to invite a shadowy group of individuals to hold an annual get-together in the town next summer.
Some see hosting the British Chess Championship as a great honour, but others view it as rubbing salt in the wound after rejection of a bid for a super-casino that would have given the resort “a bit of quality”.
“We don’t think this will do the image of the town any good at all,” said local impresario, drinker and night-spot frequenter Dave “Tiger” Dawson, 17.
“I mean, what are these guys going to do? Sit in darkened rooms moving bits of wood about? Don’t sound very Yarmouth to me.”
Mr Dawson, who has a chequered career, was particularly concerned at the attitude of the chessplayers. “I mean, they tell me they shake hands at the end of the game. What’s that all about?”
He felt the visitors would be unlikely to be “any good in a fight” and “have no staying power” in the local pubs. “They won’t fit in at all,” he concluded.
Asked if he had actually met any chess players, he replied: “What me? You kidding, mate?”