3 April 2006
No hurry to rethink speed doctrine
In this apparently irreligious age, there are still one or two doctrines that we are not allowed to question. One is that humans are causing climate change, and the other is that speed is a major cause of accidents.
When I suggested last time that many speed limits needed adjusting upwards, I expected and got the usual reaction that speed is bad, man. One reader suggested consulting the Rospa website. By all means do, but think about it as well. Do you really believe that “reducing the average running speed of vehicles by just 1 mph would reduce the number of accidents by 5 per cent”? And that “at 35 mph a driver is twice as likely to kill someone as they are at 30 mph”?
If you do, don’t bother to write in, because there is clearly nothing left for us to discuss. To my mind such nonsense eliminates any credibility the rest of the site might have had (though there is much to disbelieve). Still, by all means look, and to get a counterbalance, look also at www.safespeed.org.uk and www.abd.org.uk. The same reader assumed that I wanted to drive faster because I was in a hurry. This is a common misconception. I do not want to drive excessively fast, or to hurry. I simply want to correct limits that make me and many others drive at below the optimum safe speed and turn what should be an enjoyable experience into something dreary and hazardous.
Over 40 years of driving have convinced me that it is mainly slower drivers who cause accidents because they simply do not concentrate on what they are doing. Making people drive too slowly means making them drive badly. But then I suspect that most people who are desperate to keep speeds low are less interested in road safety than in maintaining draconian laws. As Einstein said, “unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth”.
In response to my friend Mr Durrant, who wrote to say that some speed limits are correct, yes of course they are (though I don’t agree with the example he gives). And some people – mainly young people with little experience, as the EDP correctly revealed last week – drive too fast and too close to the driver in front. But the great thing for Mr Durrant and his allies is that there is no minimum speed limit in this country. They can drive as slowly as they like, however dangerous it is. And no-one will blink an eyelid. Isn’t freedom wonderful?
Fears that Norwich may attack neighbours
Fears that the ancient kingdom of Norwich may want to eliminate some of its smaller neighbours are causing concern at international level. Diplomats fear that the current government of Norwich may be stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in an attempt to wipe Broadland and South Norfolk off the map.
An unnamed Norwich spokesperson said last night: “There is simply no reason for them to exist. They are collecting rubbish and building on land that we should be controlling.
“They claim to be creating a healthy environment, but that is our job. We know best.”
A source in a blue beret said that such talk was regrettable and showed clear aggressive intent. The proposed Norwich Eye was not, as the city suggested, an attempt to produce electricity but an obvious spy device which could probably deliver deadly projectiles.
A peacekeeping force might have to be put together, and invasion was not out of the question, he said. He blamed radical clerics at the centre of government.
Give us back our restful Sundays
I was unable to convince a financial adviser the other day that it was nonsense that her bank should be able to provide 128 different kinds of ISA, but did not have one no-strings instant access savings account. “It’s what people want,” she said.
I’m afraid I do not believe her, any more than I believe that people are clamouring for even longer shop opening hours on Sundays. It may be what the banks and the shops want, but it is of no value to the man and woman in the street.
You may have not heard about it, but the Government is consulting people on this, and the deadline for comments approaches: it is April 14.
Don’t laugh. If, like me, you hanker for those quiet Sundays before 1994, when you could actually enjoy empty roads and quiet walks through the city, plus a day of rest from all the frantic commercialism of the rest of the week, take the trouble to tell the Government what you think by e-mailing them at sundaytrading@dti.gov.uk.
You may think that like most consultation, this is a waste of time and effort. But take heart: an NOP consumer poll last year found that 87 per cent of people think it is important for family stability and community life to have a common day off each week. You are not alone.
Views from the football pitch
I know many of you are eager to hear footballers’ views on life. Happily I am able to help. A reader has sent me a transcript he has deviously obtained of an interview with a high-earning footballer (though not, of course, a Canary). The identity of both has been disguised to protect the innocent. And the interviewer.
I expect you’re looking forward to Saturday’s match.
Well, you know, I mean to say, at the end of the day, we hope to get a result.
A result is inevitable, surely?
Well, you know, I have to say, I mean I don’t know nothing about that. Me and my mates will give 120 per cent effort though, to be honest, if you know what I mean.
No, not really. Surely 120 per cent is more than a complete effort?
Well, you know, to be honest, I don’t know nothing about percentages.
So you didn’t learn them at school?
I got kicked out of school because I didn’t want to learn nothing, so I just mucked about, you know.
So you don’t know anything about algebra?
No, I don’t know nothing about him. I got a mate called Al Jones. He went to university and done sports psychology. But he didn’t get no job and he owes a lotta money.
So, would you say your brains are in your feet?
Well, you know, I mean to say, I don’t know nothing about that. My agent, he can’t play football but he makes more money than I do, if you see what I mean, to be honest. Most definitely.
Thank you for your valuable time. I shall need to think about priorities.