4 August 2003
It is understandable that Norfolk people should find driving on dual carriageways difficult, since we have so few of them.
But this does not apply to the rest of the country. So why is dual carriageway driving generally so bad? As a public service I have put together a supplement to the Highway Code that should help to make dual carriageways both safe and uncongested. Some of these points are merely clarifications of current safe driving practice; others are helpful suggestions.
* On dual carriageways HGVs should be confined to the inside lane. * When overtaking on a dual carriageway it is not sufficient simply to switch on your indicator and pull out. * You should never pull out in front of another vehicle if by doing so you cause it to brake. * Slow-moving vehicles should not pull into the outside lane of a dual carriageway automatically whenever they approach an entry slip road. Vehicles joining the faster road should normally filter into the nearside lane between vehicles. * No vehicle should overtake on a dual carriageway unless it can complete the passing manoeuvre in 20 seconds or less. * When passing slow-moving vehicles in heavy traffic, do not pull out in front of faster vehicles, thus forming a long, slow-moving stream in the outside lane. Wait until the faster vehicles go through. * It is permissible to change lanes more than once on dual carriageways. Do not feel that because you are in the outside lane you have to stay there until you overtake the lorry half a mile ahead. * When pulling on to a dual carriageway road from a junction, match the speed of the traffic as soon as possible. It is permissible to press the accelerator. * When turning off the dual carriageway, do not slow more than is necessary before doing so. Slow driving on fast roads is dangerous. * Do not assume that anyone driving faster than you is a mad fool. He/she may be a better driver than you. He/she may not, but you can’t tell that from the fact that you have been overtaken. * Do not assume that anyone who overtakes you is in a desperate hurry. He/she may simply prefer not to sit behind a lorry/van/caravan or any other vehicle that blocks the view of the road ahead. Or you may be driving too slowly for the conditions. * Do not hit the brake whenever you see a speed camera, especially when you are already travelling well under the speed limit. * Pay attention. * Have consideration for other road users. * If you think that everyone exceeding a speed limit is a criminal, stop driving immediately. You do not have the minimum brain power necessary to drive well. * If you do not enjoy driving, stop driving immediately. If you don’t enjoy it, you will almost certainly be doing it badly. (Obviously this does not apply in temporary situations like traffic jams or other highway-authority-induced congestion.) * If you are pulling a caravan, take it to the nearest scrapyard.
Council advice
Councils have a hard time, don’t they? They try to do the right thing, but it keeps going wrong.
Norfolk County Council workers, for instance, suddenly got all concerned about unauthorised signs giving directions to Gunthorpe grand fete; so of course they took them down.
“We’re not spoilsports,” they said. Which doesn’t really explain all those signs that remain beside the road long after the event has passed. I have never yet seen a Flood sign where there was still water on the road, and the sign warning of road closures in the city for the Lord Mayor’s Procession was there for weeks afterwards.
Norwich City Council got all excited about environmental issues. So it issued free compost bins and caused a massive traffic jam on one of the city’s most sensitive routes. It had already delivered recycling boxes to our street (and many others), which is fine – except that the gentlemen who empty them fling them down all over the pavement, upside down and with the lids off. Not exactly wheelchair-friendly.
Then North Norfolk District Council thought it would be a good thing to install security doors on a number of blocks of flats in North Walsham to prevent vandalism and robbery. It worked, too. Unfortunately it also meant that several elderly residents couldn’t get out because they were too frail to open the doors. Let’s hope there’s not a fire.
Getting the hump
I would not want to criticise the BBC, which is in enough trouble as it is, but I was rather disturbed by its web page on speed humps, to which I was directed by a concerned citizen following my piece on introducing humps at Mundesley, through which it is already impossible to drive quickly.
The page, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3084331.stm, includes a vote on whether or not you want to sweep away speed humps, as they have done in the enlightened London Borough of Barnet. Naturally I attempted to vote in favour, but my vote was not accepted. I received a message saying “Page not found”– on several occasions.
I hope this is not an attempt to distort the vote, or to pretend that no-one is interested. Perhaps by the time you read this, normal service will have been resumed.
Newt expansion
A reader tells me that the expansionist plans of great crested newts, long discounted by experts such as Henry (Fred) “Shrimp” Houseago, 104, may not have been entirely abandoned. One of their pet projects – the genetic modification of cats – appears to have been revived, if we are to believe a notice in a Norwich newsagent’s.
"Free to good home,” it reads. “Two newted male cats. One grey, the other black. Must be kept together.”