12 August 2002
Putting too much into the countryside
When I was up in the Cairngorms, just north of King’s Lynn, I walked headlong into widespread local worries about proposals to turn the area into a National Park.
Outside interference, jobs for the boys (and girls), meaningless public consultation and intrusive signposting were just some of the horrors envisaged for the wilderness area in the name of the great god Conservation. And for some reason it made me think of the Tas valley, just south of Norwich.
Close to the city’s outskirts, there is a Roman town. It is not easy to spot. To the naked and uninformed eye there is a large piece of grass with raised banks, some of them containing remains of old walls. There is also a church, and a river. It is a delightful area, with a small parking place, a few wooden steps and discreet information posts.
The prospect of this quiet beauty being invaded by people who want to exploit it is one that worries me as much as it does Roy Masters, a blacksmith from North Norfolk who works “very much as the Romans did when they were here – by hand”.
He is “absolutely appalled” to see what the so-called experts came up with. “They intend to spend £3½m on a visitors’ centre plus access," he writes.
"Once you leave the southern bypass “you would be on what could only be described as a single-track roadway. Then there is a narrow railway bridge to negotiate, and after that the plan is to run nearly a quarter of a mile along the top of a hill to an ancient Roman beech-wooded mound, where these experts intend to place a car park and visitors’ centre”.
And that’s not the end of it. From there they “intend to construct a raised walkway and bridge all the way across the valley. When you have finished your quarter-mile walk and, having paid for the privilege, you stand in the centre of our ‘Roman Town’ – a vast, open grass area surrounded by banks”.
Mr Masters suggests that paying visitors may be less than enchanted by the view. And thousands of unhappy paying visitors will have replaced a few happy, non-paying ones.
Not a pleasing prospect. I warm more to the rather cheaper scheme suggested by South Norfolk councillor Roger Smith in 1998. Leaving the site a little overgrown would add to its sense of age and mystery, he suggested.
The leisure services committee at that time agreed a programme of grass cutting and general maintenance of the site – at the modest cost of £3500 a year.
That’s what I call a breath of fresh air.
Expert opinion: how important is that?
With all the major athletics events recently, some people may have missed the Norfolk Games, held at Little London, near Corpusty, and opened by the mayor, Mrs Hicks, with the words: “I declare.”
Unfortunately we don’t have time to bring you any of the events, but we have space for analysis by the experts, led by Norfolk veteran Henry (Fred) ‘Shrimp’ Houseago – a two-furlong specialist in his youth. With him are Prof V A R Scheinlich, who has frequently smashed the record for Hingham to Norwich, and Len ‘Kissme’ Hardy, a chef and high jumper.
Houseago: The crowd were wonderful. They got right behind our athletes.
Scheinlich: Definitely. Our runners really came of age here.
Houseago: How important was it that most of them got out of bed this morning?
Hardy: Definitely. And the crowd were terrific.
Scheinlich: Yes, I think we have to hand it to the crowd. But how important was that gold medal?
Houseago: Definitely. It really came of age. Do you think it can go on from here?
Hardy: Definitely. But the crowd were wonderful.
Houseago: Perhaps we could have a look at that key race. No, sorry. We’re out of time. Pity, really.
Scheinlich: Definitely. How important is that? Great crowd. It came of age. Nice stadium, too.
Bale-rolling set for comeback
I was delighted while rambling near Claxton the other day to see that a couple of fields had been set up for the ancient Norfolk sport of bale-rolling.
Since it was hit by scandal just after the war, bale-rolling has faded into the shadows. Several teams were accused of using illegal dwiles, and there were rumours – possibly ill-founded – of both greasing and stubble-smoothing.
“There was too much money in it,” said Prof Ian ‘Sam’ Aufmerksam of the UEA School of Penguins, Chess and Road-Surfacing, when he researched the subject five years ago. “These old sports could only survive on an amateur basis.
“I’m afraid we’ll never see the like of the old champions such as Andy ‘Push’em’ Higbee. The thrill of bales thundering down the slope and into the grup may never be glimpsed again.”
But recent research has revealed a resurgence of the Claxton Chapter, and the bales have been set up on sloping fields for a championship-level match – the bale equivalent of playing off the back tees in golf.
The time of the event and the names of the participants remain a closely guarded secret.
New volcano located
Lava expert Richard Meek, who warned recently of the imminent eruption of Mount Beeston, near Sheringham, has stumbled across yet another dormant Norfolk volcano.
This one is in Thetford which, as local historians will know, has suffered from more than its fair share of explosions in the past. In the last century, one such catastrophe resulted in a violent increase in population.
The dormant volcano pinpointed by Mr Meek is known locally as The Mound. He points out that this is a synonym for ‘Bump’, the alternative name for Mount Beeston.
He also reveals that “students of ley lines will not be surprised to learn that the two sites can be joined by a straight line on the map” – clear proof that ancient Norfolk people regarded them as having special spiritual power.
As yet, he sees no indication that The Mound is about to erupt, despite the lack of stability in the town centre.
Too many slow ponies
![[Cartoon] Slow moving ponies](/articles/images/020812Cartoon.jpg)
When I was on holiday in Aberdeenshire, which is an extraordinarily civilised part of the world, I came unexpectedly upon a sign in the grounds of a castle. It read: ‘Slow Pony Driving’.
I was a little taken aback, but was quickly able to adjust when I realised that people on Royal Deeside are known for their colourful and inventive use of language. Clearly, people who drive too slowly there are known as ‘ponies’ (presumably by analogy with shanks’s pony). I soon came across one. He was driving at 35mph on an A road – and slowing down for the corners.
Perhaps the sign could be adapted for use in the rear screens of cars. There would be a huge market in Norfolk, especially on the North Walsham road, and I am sure it would contribute to road safety.