21 October 2002
Teachers on a mission find they're suspended
In a bid to spend some of the huge amount of money that flows into an Education Action Zone, someone hit on the brilliant idea of sending a consignment of Yarmouth head-teachers and teachers to Vancouver for 10 days.
To those unfamiliar with the geography of Canada, this is further away than Kathmandu, Nepal; so it should have been far enough. But the plan failed: they came back.
Sorry – that was totally unfair. The plan was not that they should fall in love with Vancouver (an easy thing to do) and miss the plane back. The plan was to provide plenty of sightseeing as a kind of antidote to working in Yarmouth. I think.
The highlight of this, I understand, was the famous and hairy Capilano suspension bridge, which was intended to reproduce in the teachers the feeling of standing in front of a class of children, but with the added attraction of being able to throw yourself off.
Surprisingly, everyone resisted this temptation.
Happily the teachers were also able to fit in visits to some British Columbian schools, which I believe are far more advanced than ours.
For instance, they do not have Ofsted inspections and are not plagued with the obligation to produce a written policy on everything from literacy to washing up.
There was also the opportunity to observe a revolutionary and highly successful teaching tool that involves developing pupils’ thinking skills.
This has been pioneered in Canada, but is also being used successfully elsewhere.
The group could have gone to Australia, for instance. Perhaps they will.
And there’s another place where it’s already been trialled with outstanding results. Let me see, now.
Where would that be? Oh, yes. It’s Norfolk – just down the road from Yarmouth.
I look forward to seeing the effect of the Canadian experience on Yarmouth schools, but I suspect that a distant look in headteachers’ eyes will be the most easily observable outcome.
So many campaigns . . . so many jobs at stake
Amid all the spin that assails us, we sometimes miss the vested interest that certain groups have in keeping us restricted, frightened and confused.
The Norfolk Casualty Reduction Partnership – fondly known in certain quarters as the Speed Camera Promotion Partnership – likes to remind us that it does not keep the many fines generated from its activities. What it usually forgets to mention is that if it did not convince the Government that speed cameras were necessary, it would simply disappear, along with its rather nice offices in Dencora House, its salaries and its vehicles.
Similarly, the thousands of climatologists funded by governments throughout the world to warn us about global warming would be off looking for new jobs if they were to conclude that the climate is cyclical and mainly influenced by the sun, and that there is practically nothing we can do about it anyway.
The brigades of bureaucrats who infest our government departments and local councils would likewise be dumped if red tape were abolished and paperwork made as simple as it could be.
And the many highly paid PR persons now employed by practically every public utility would be redundant if the people in positions of responsibility would simply answer the phone and tell the truth.
So don’t expect anything to make life easier. No one’s going to make money out of that.
New remembered hills
The hills of Norfolk are clearly striking a chord with readers. One points out that I have neglected to mention Saham Hills, which rise spectacularly north of Watton. These have their own mountain rescue team, advertised on stickers in car windows in the area (or maybe in one car window which moves about a lot).
Another points out that Alburgh, near the Suffolk border, is the highest point in Norfolk, which rather surprised me. No doubt she was referring to Holbrook Hill, the nearby summit, which I intend to climb one day.
Hills expert Richard “Volcano” Meek was unavailable for comment last night.
Sevens 'not natural'
Religious groups have complained about the plan by Len “Kissme” Hardy of Hindolveston to produce a wide range of food and drink packaged in sevens, like seven-slice loaves and seven-bottle cases of wine.
His scheme, based on a nationwide plan to produce eggs in boxes of seven to ensure that people eat one a day, has come under attack from an ecumenical cell led by Henry (Fred) “Shrimp” Houseago, 103, a curate and druid, who described it as “unnatural and newt-like”.
He added: “We should be having a day of rest each week. It’s the natural order of things. It’s bad enough shops opening on Sundays, so that you can’t tell one day from another.
“We can do without things coming at us in sevens. If you work in sevens, you never stop. And you’ve only got to look at people to see the effect it’s having on them.”
Mr Houseago has called for a ban on anything produced by Mr Hardy and a return to normal human behaviour.
Disappearing chickens mystery
![[photo] Chickens by road](/articles/images/021021Chickens.jpg)
I was impressed to read that the Ditchingham roundabout chickens (pronounced chicanes) have been wandering in the road just outside Bungay for about half a century. They are therefore probably the first example in the world of successful traffic calming.
It is not surprising that the local council does not like this, since it is well know that councillors prefer things that do not work, so that they can replace them with other things that do not work, like road humps. And it is certainly suspicious, as a correspondent points out, that the chickens are suddenly disappearing after the council’s legal bid to remove them had failed.
Some blame men in vans looking to make a profit on the birds, but I suspect fowl play by the authorities. Others would go further, suggesting that the Black Dog of Bungay, which was removed for refurbishment not long ago, has been set loose among the chickens as a health and safety measure.
Mr G Went, of Bungay, has called for the dog to be returned to its lamp standard without delay.